January Newsletter

I can barely remember what happened

I can’t imagine a dark room

Without the whistle

Of an open door.

I imagine I could leave

Anytime.

Anytime at all.

But here the walls are known

Even windowless, featureless, bare.

Beyond is only the whistle.

- 16:17

I don’t remember this poem at all, but I apparently wrote it in 2024. Fun! Well, less fun, but very interesting because it feels relatable in a strange way… anyway, let’s get into this!

What are you working on for Substack?

• I did release Spruce Flats Blues earlier this month which I honestly really enjoyed! Give it a look if you haven’t yet because I personally thought it was a lovely story.

• I have parts and pieces of the next episode of the Marrow Chronicle ready to go, but it’ll a little while yet. Hopefully after midFebruary!

• My Sci-Fi today plan had to take a backseat to my dissertation writing, but don’t worry it’ll come out eventually!

What are you working on outside of Substack?

• I didn’t get my brother’s manuscript done by the end of January - oof a deadline missed. But we’re almost there, I swear!

• I decided to add an old character to the final book in the Astra series and I’m really excited about their entry. Maybe one day it’ll be something people get excited about, but for now it’s just me going “Oh, this is gonna be great…”

• I wanted to do another round of BCE edits and start submitting to agents in January, but I’m realizing that’s a bad idea and that will probably be a summer project.

How’s your dissertation going?

The analysis I mentioned before has been done and it feels great! I have 2 weeks to polish a chapter, and write the last chapter, and then I need to get it all reviewed by my PI!

My defense date has been set for mid-April and my graduation has been confirmed for the second week of May. I feel like time is running thin and I’ll admit I’m a little stressed, but I think I’ve got this!

Also, I never thought it’d be so intense trying to write my dissertation AND try to get a job at the same time! The funding crisis is REAL all around the world. So many places I’ve applied to have basically said “We’d love to have you, but you need to get your own funding.” And I would love to do that BUT competition is especially high and damn I am running out of time.

What are you reading right now?

I finally finished all of The Expanse books this month! I’ve been reading these books on and off for 6 years (I like to take breaks between books and only read them when I have my own copy), and I gotta say, I wasn’t as happy with the ending as I expected it to be, but that’s because I think it should’ve taken more time to wrap a few things up, but honestly the story was awesome. And there’s an exert from the book I want to share here, because it means a lot to me…

“I absolutely believe that people are more good on balance than bad," he said. “All the wars and all the cruelty and all of the violence. I’m not looking away from any of that, and I still think there’s something beautiful about being what we are. History is soaked in blood. The future probably will be too. But for every atrocity, there’s a thousand small kindnesses that no one noticed. A hundred people who spent their lives loving and caring for each other. A few moments of real grace. Maybe it’s only a little more good than bad in us, but…”

- Leviathan Falls

I really loved this quote, because it felt like a good summary of the optimism that shines through the entire series, but more importantly, it represents how I want to feel. I’ll be honest, I don’t feel this right now. But I want to. God damn, I really, really want to.

What are you playing right now?

I haven’t played any games this month. Weird. I haven’t finished Disco Elysium yet, but I plan to circle back and finish it when I have time!

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Alright, back to recovery and dissertation writing! I’ll catch you all soon. Thanks for being here!

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