Rebirth Pt. 1

After the murder of two teenagers in the city of Cain, Ollen flees in search of a new life...

Going off on a little side tangent today, let’s see what happens to dear Ollen after she flees Cain. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, maybe check out the Children of War as this acts as a sort of epilogue to that story! Without further ado…

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Ollen stumbled through the night, darkness enveloping every step under gusting winds and mounds of leaves that kicked up in her wake.

Kicked up in fear, she mused. Fear of me.

Behind her blared the lights of Cain. Her home no more, but merely a symbol of a broken spirit. A spirit reforged in the mud. The Astral world at her fingertips, and she did what with it? Murder. The shame welled up inside her. With all her heart, she apologized to the trees, and the grass, and the clay beneath her feet as she made her way through the forest.

If not for the shame deep down, she may have seen the night differently. She may have seen its beauty. There was no moon in the sky. The vast darkness let the Fates shine brighter than she ever saw. It was a beauty many would have sacrificed much to see.

Never had she seen such things. She knew only the city and she hadn’t learned to appreciate the beauty of the natural world. Yet she knew this was where all she had was derived. This was part of who she was.

And she needed to get away form it. 

Or maybe stay here forever. She could hide amongst the trees, become a hermit, a recluse. The imaginary future rushed forth in her mind, but she realized that she didn’t know how to find food. Did wild animals even live in the forest on the outskirts of Cain? Nonsense!

The planning of a terrified child’s mind.

Then she tripped.

As though the looming ashen willow overhead reached out with its roots and ripped her down to the Astral earth to remind her of her shame. Her failure. She landed in what she hoped was mud. She rolled over onto her back in a rapid move of disgust. She stared up at the tree. It was a monster of a willow that rose above the surrounding trees in the forest. Through the mud, she felt a certain power reverberate around it. What was this tree? Surely a tree, there was no doubting that, but there was more to it. It felt like a special place. A forgotten holy site perhaps? Or one never found. 

Divinity upon Astra itself staring back at her in the darkness of the night. Smothering her in more shame. She took the power of Astra and took a life. Lives. Murder in the name of self preservation over that of the land. She hung her head in shame, averting her eyes from the perceived gaze of the willow tree.

 She tore her vision away and found herself looking back. Looking back at Cain. An ugly little hole in an otherwise beautiful scene of nature. In her old life she may have seen it as beautiful. Was it old already? Gunmetal skyscrapers with neon lights dotted its horizon. A blimp milled overhead - maybe a security blimp. Then, a single pop.

A flare seared across the sky in a deep pinkish-red hue. 

She knew what it meant. They knew she was gone. There was no turning back. No walking into the city, hands held high in surrender. Now her punishment would be even worse. Now death was on the line - as if it wasn’t before. 

Ollen looked back on her home city and felt a certain pang. Not for her broken family. Not for those dirty streets she ran her entire life, not for the countless people sent to die - the thing that broke so many families in Cain - no, none of that. She was going to miss her best friend, Akashi. The only person she thought ever understood her, and yet she betrayed him for years. Never telling him, never letting him in on her dirty little secret. He was the first, she supposed, but he wouldn’t be last. How terrible was that?

All this and more blew through her mind like a high speed rail, exiting Cain on the same route as her. All this and more… until it was gone - like the kicking winds that follow the shuddering boom of the railway.

Then she stood, wiped the muck off her face, and turned away, never to see Cain again. The willow watched on as she walked into the darkness. Beneath her feet she felt the roots of the monster following her, tracking her. It hadn’t forgiven her. Astra hadn’t forgiven her.

This wasn’t over.

.

.

.

Ollen knew better than to hop on the railway out of Cain. She was already heading in the direction of Sant, the begrudging sister city-state of Cain. Cain’s partner in their holy war to the south. It would take time before news of a fugitive passed along to Sant. By then she’d be gone. She’d hop the rail and move on. Before long they’d forget about her. 

Who cares about one murderer? There's thousands of them down south, isn’t there?

Sant was the second to last stop for many trains that traveled along the rails. Cain was the famous end of the line. It’d be easy to hop a rail going the other direction and get out of dodge. Where to after that? She began to realize how little she knew about Astra’s geography. It was a supercontinent, sure, but what’s the difference between Ravyn’s End and Pashak? They could be the same place for all she knew. She shook the thought away. She’d learn as she went. She’d survive just fine - probably.

When she arrived at the station just outside Sant, she blended in well with many of the refugees coming in. If anything she was much muddier and exhausted than them. At least they had just awoken on the train, whereas she had spent the night in a hollowed out tree in the forest that divided Sant and Cain. She was tired, dizzy, and disoriented. She approached one of the countless ticket stations. Informational glass that overflowed with rail scheduling separated her from the blank faced man on the other side.

“Excuse me.” She said to the man. The glass cleared of the passing data and he leaned forward, his crisp clean outfit creased at his abdomen. He wore a hat like she imagined a conductor might and his uniform was a buttoned up dull blue. He seemed to be attuned to her, so she continued, “I’m looking to get on the next rail. How do I get a ticket?”

“You get a ticket here.” His voice was matter of fact and quick. “Where are you headed?” He asked.

“I - I didn’t really think that far. Just out of here, I guess.” A flash of familiarity passed in his eyes and he nodded. He looked over his shoulder then leaned in closer, his nose nearly pressing against the glass.

“Uh-huh. Tell you what, we’re looking for help on the rail for some refugees heading out of Ravyn’s End. If you wait a few hours, you can be on that rail heading east.” He gave a sympathetic smile, “You just gotta talk to Ling, yeah? He looks out for people who come to the rail for help - people like us - if you don’t mind working.” 

He recognized her. Not that he knew her or saw her face in the newsfeed. He saw someone in need and he wanted to help. He saw her and she saw him. He was looking at a mirror and she was looking through a window - a future.

“T-thank you.” She said. He nodded. 

“Head to the caboose on the eastbound rail.” She nodded, turned away and went in search of her new future. New possibilities began to expand out in front of her. A new future. A new chance.

 How convenient, she thought, A job where no one asks questions and nobody second guesses where you come from or where you’re going. The perfect place to disappear. 

But they needed a name. What did she say when they asked for her name?

“Navia.” She replied with a meek smile.

“Like… the goddess?” The old shimmering blue Child of Koh asked with a raised eyebrow. She winced, 

Bad name choice. This was Ling, she supposed. He looked as though he had been on the railway for a long while. She wondered if when he was younger, his blue Koh skin shined brighter. Maybe back then people mistook him for a Xella - maybe his skin twinkled like the stars like theirs did. Or maybe he always had a dull shimmering tired blue glow to him. Maybe Ling was always Ling.

“Yep… like the… goddess…” She hung her head. “Navia.”

“Okay. Navia it is then. You’re on the loading zone with me. Your pay will be transferred to your datapad when we get to Ravyn’s End. You load up the goods, ride along, unload, we pay you, you go on your way.”

“Yes sir.” She said, resisting a salute. A childhood in a military capital will have that effect on you. “One problem…” She wrung her hands and tugged on her curly hair.

“Go on then.” Ling replied, flicking through his datapad without looking back at her.

“I don’t have a datapad…” For a brief moment she saw his skin flicker a different shade of blue. She was pretty sure that meant children of Koh were experiencing a different emotion, but she never met many Koh in Cain. He knitted a short graying beard upon his chin and thought for a moment. Finally, he nodded,

“Alright, goddess, I’ve got a spare. You can use it. Put your information on there and don’t lose it. I expect it back - all your information wiped - when you get off this rail. Hear me?” She resisted another salute and instead nodded profusely,

“Thank you so much, sir. Thank you thank you -”

“Ling’s fine, kid. Just take it easy, okay?” She squeezed her mouth shut, her lips turning pale from the pressure. He turned away from her, reached into a bag and pulled out an old beaten up datapad. It had multicolored star stickers all over the rough metal case the glass screen was held inside.

Cute.

He pressed a couple buttons on the old screen and passed it to her. “Nothing fancy like those new ring-things in the northeast, but it gets the job done. It’s sturdy. Built for the rails and all that.” Ollen nodded and took it. There was an old name carved into the frame that she couldn’t quite make out. It started with an O like her own. Strange.

As she began fidgeting with the controls, Ling spoke up again, “We’ll be prepping everything for take off in about 2 hours. Take some time to get comfortable. You been on the rail before?” She shook her head and he sighed. “This should be interesting. Get used to it, huh? You and millions more until the last few years. Stuff just keeps getting worse out there, don’t they?” Ollen nodded. “Not much of a talker then?” He asked.

“No, not that… I guess I’m just nervous.” 

“Yeah? New environment. New people. New job. You ever work before?”

“No si - Ling. No. First job.” He looked at her puzzled,

“You show up to the rails, no ID, no datapad, no job, covered in mud and Oran-Koh knows what else, and the name of a goddess… You worth more trouble than I want to know?”

“No, no of course not!” She protested. “I’d never bring trouble I -” From the windows she saw the sprawling forest and she felt a pang of shame. Somewhere deep in the forest the ancient willow watched her lie. It shamed her. It was filled with anger. Why did it give its power to her? Did she deserve it? She shook the thoughts away and closed a blind on the nearest window of the railcar. She took a deep breath and brought her most firm smirk across her face. “Any trouble I bring, I’ll make up for it by working as hard as I can, I swear.” 

What? What were the words that just poured from her mouth? Where was Ollen? Where was the troublemaker, Ollen? Where was the Ollen out for fun and adventure? 

She died. She died beneath the willow tree. The empty vessel was cleansed in the mud of the forest. Ollen was gone. Forgotten. Who am I now?

“Yeah, well… I expect some hard work from you then, Navia.” He grumbled as the stout older man lumbered his way out of the railcar. Navia sighed and blew her hair out of her face. She put it up with an old rubber band and fell back onto a cargo container. 

“I can do this. I can do this...”

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.

.

And so she did. 

Navia persevered. Ling was impressed enough to let her stay on the rails with him. Load up, ride along, and unload up and down the countryside. She saw families fleeing disasters, injured soldiers being rushed home, and mercenaries going out into the world in search of fame and fortune. She felt each and every one of their pains, scars, and traumas. She felt their hope, their joy, and the brief moments of reprieve where they thought everything may be okay. 

The only part that hurt, that dealt a blow every time, was stepping off the rails and onto Astra again. She was thankful for the metal stations, shielding her from the prying eyes of the land. The stations were where she couldn’t feel Astra judging her. Being disappointed in her. Shaming her.

The land was beautiful, but it was not kind to those who misused its power. Navia knew that. And she apologized with prayer and sought guidance and refuge in it, but the land never listened to her pleas. It merely responded in kind with shaming and undignified wags of the forest’s finger. She hid from the land. There was a time walking through Cain as a young girl where she’d give praise and quiet worship to a single blade of grass that broke through the concrete sidewalks. Now when she saw them in countless cities she visited, she averted her gaze, pushed her pain deep down, and moved on.

The land hated her.

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.

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Years had passed. Navia had become an established employee working the rails by Ling’s side. As she grew into herself, he seemed to shrink down lower. She had grown strong, taking care of the railway cargo hold to the best of her ability with Ling being her helper rather than the other way around. The change was subtle, but neither of them fought it. It just was and so it became what they were.

On this particular sunny day, she led a quiet young boy to the cargo hold to help him store his belongings before taking his seat. The rail was beginning to lurch forward, gathering speed, so she ushered him along quickly He was a pre teenage boy from a village out west that had collapsed in recent years. It sounded like they were out west near Faren, but she knew better than to pry. The boy got on the railway alone after all. He reminded her of when she was his age. Maybe he was a mirror. Maybe she was a window. She wasn’t certain, but maybe. 

“You know, these rails are pretty amazing.” She said with pride in her voice.

“How?”

“They were made a few hundred years ago by the last champion of Oran-Koh. Crazy stuff, huh?”

“I guess.” The boy kicked a rock across the grated flooring of the cargo car as he scrolled through something on his datapad. “I thought champions were soldiers and heroes.”

“Most are, sure.” Navia said with a smile. She took his luggage from him and opened up a cargo box. “But some champions are happier to make beautiful things in the name of their gods. That’s why the people of Koh to this day still work and use the railway more than any other people. It’s a gift from their god.” She placed the bag in the box then made a receipt on her old star-stickered datapad and forwarded the file to the datapad that preoccupied the boy’s attention. It chimed with the notification and he checked it.

“Thanks.” He said. “So not all champions are heroes.” The kid said, the venom of a blooming teenager in his voice.

“I wouldn’t say that.” Navia replied with a forced smile. She felt the irritation of someone twisting her words settled in. Maybe he wasn’t a mirror after all. She took a deep breath in and tried to rectify the misunderstanding, “More like, not all heroes have to kill people on a battlefield. Sometimes being a hero is making sure the people who look to you for safety are okay. Sometimes being a hero is helping people instead of lashing out at the people that hurt them. Think about that, huh?”

“Sure. Thanks.” He was clearly trying to leave the discussion. Navia sighed and moved on. 

“Be safe out there!” She called after him. “If you have any other problems during your trip, let me know, okay?” She said with a gentle smile. The boy nodded to her while keeping his eyes on his datapad and walked away. Navia’s shoulder’s drooped.

“You can’t teach them all, kid.” Ling said from behind her. His aging body walked slowly over to her, his skin had turned more gray than blue these days.

“Yeah, I know. I hate that though. I just don’t want him to make the same mistakes me and my friend - friends made when I was his age.”

“You’ve grown up a lot on these rails in the last 5 years.” Ling mused with a proud smile. She shrugged,

“Learned from you, pops.” She went back to organizing luggage and moving around cargo boxes. Ling helped her with the lighter containers, but quickly found himself leaning against a seat they had placed in the car for him.

“So, kid… got a thing to talk to you about.” He said through winded breaths.

“A thing for me?” She replied with a huff as she wiped sweat from her brow and leaned on the last of the stowed luggage. At this point the gentle wait of and quiet whistle of the highspeed rail was in full swing.

“Yeah. A proposition if you will.”

“Well… okay…” Ling smiled and pulled a rag from his back pocket. His skin turned more blue than she had seen it in years.

“Come here then.” He whispered, leading her to the back of the cargo car until they were looking out on the rushing landscape as the rail fired through the wasteland around them. “Don’t want anyone else hearing this…” In the distance she saw a small town, smoke curling up from damaged thatch houses. It was probably abandoned now. Probably long forgotten. In a blink it was gone - soon to be forgotten by Navia too. The rails moved too quickly to savor such horrors.

“Look… the direction of the rails… they’re getting worse every day, kid.”

“We’ve handled plenty of bad in our time, pops.” She said with a smug smile. She had grown used to calling him that. She thought he had hated it at first, but she knew he grew to like it too.

Ling shook his head. His eyes looked weary. Worse than usual.

“I’m getting old. Too old. And I’ve seen a lot. And what I’m seeing these days… it’s worse. Things are getting worse by the day. Maybe it won’t come to a head tomorrow, or next month, or even next year. But in the next decade? It’s going to start getting scary out here. On these open fields. The fighting only gets worse… and when it does, we all lose.” Navia tried to push back but he said the word that weighed on everyone’s shoulders who worked the rails these days, “You see what’s happening in Caaremen?”

She took a second to reply. The weight that he put on each word made her nervous. She shifted her weight, kicked a pebble by her foot, then looked back at him, “I’m trying to stay out of trouble just as much as anyone else, pops. What's your idea?”

“We leave. I’m thinking Euco. It’s beautiful. The sights, the music, the scene. You’d love it I bet! Literally a place of the god’s - well, a god. A place worth living. A place for the young and whole hearted. A place for love, dance, and joy… and for me? A place to retire. A safe place on the water.”

“Euco, huh? I don’t really know it.” Navia said thinking about it. “Is it one of those big metal military cities?”

“No, not really.” Ling said with a reminiscent smile. “It’s its own monster…. Euco is a place where nature and industrialization meet. It’s home - was home - at least once upon a time.” She didn’t understand completely, but she nodded like she did.

“Okay… so let's say I do go with you? Then what?”

“Then we start a new life there. Doing… whatever gets us by. We can load and unload taxis for all I care. We’ve just got to get off the rails. Before somebody gets killed. Or worse, before we shoot through the wrong battle. The way I see it, we’re on borrowed time the longer we stay out here. The rule out here is to never attack a rail, but all we need is the wrong commander or whatever to decide that wasn’t worth it and we’d be in trouble. And when a rail gets hit? Then we’re all in trouble.”

“I don’t know, pops… way I see it, we’re already on borrowed time.”

“So you’re staying behind?”

“That’s not what I said.” Navia smiled.

“Then what do you say?”

“Why me? Out of everyone we’ve worked with over the years, why me? Why not Shase or Calgory over there?” She gestured back towards the car ahead of the one they were in where other employees of the rail were helping people settle in. 

“They don’t call me pops. And they didn’t approach me almost 5 years ago with a fake name, a mess of a story, and still stayed by my side ever since. You’re a good kid. Hell, you remind me of my kid. She was a lot like you. Hard headed, clever, quick. You would’ve - would’ve gotten along great.” Ling let out a sniffle then smiled. “But that’s why I’m asking you now. So…?”

“I need to think about it.” She replied. But she really didn’t. She had decided the moment he asked her to go. She just needed to be certain. To be sure that it was the right choice. And Ling convinced her it was. The land beneath her feet trembled through the suspended railway and up into her body in a way that told her that it agreed.

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Thanks for reading, everyone! I hope you enjoyed! Stick around for part 2 next week and more beyond… It’s been a lot of fun putting these stories out into the world, especially since older stories like this one gives me practice in improving my editing skills. Not going to say they’re perfect, but I do think they’ve improved since I started writing on Substack. Either way, thanks for reading and I hope to see you next week for more of Ollen - I mean Navia’s - journey on the railway.