The Southern Calt: A retrospective
Looking back on my time with The Southern Calt and how I feel about the process...
Disclaimer: This is going to be much more laid back and informal than my usual post! If you don’t like posts discussing writing and thought processes around writing, I wouldn’t blame you for skipping this one. So maybe come back next week if that’s you, but if you’re into a little chat about fiction, maybe stick around!
Well, here we are again in another retrospective! This one feels different - more exciting. I like to do retrospectives for some projects, but not all. That’s because the writing process for certain projects feels more reflective than others. It just so happens that the longer stories are more likely to have those reflective feelings and thoughts behind them (See The Trial of Isolation, one of the oldest stories on Astra’s timeline). That being said, I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about SC (I will be referring to it as SC for the remainder of this for brevity’s sake).
Let’s start with the raw numbers. SC was originally written in June of 2020 and was about 12,000 words and 19 pages in a google doc. I revisited it a few times in the four years since then - apparently I tweaked it in September of 2021, but I’m not sure why I was looking at it back then. I knew I wasn’t happy with the story for a number of reasons that I’ll get into in a moment, but I must say before we jump into any of that, that this new version has absolutely made up for almost all the shortcomings the original, much shorter, version had.
The final version - as you see it today - was written starting at the beginning of April 2024. It ended up being about 37,000 words and 59 pages in a google doc. Clearly the story has been expanded, but frankly I didn’t expect to expand it that much. There were so many places that just didn’t have enough, and there was so much that I wanted to add and change!
The characters made decisions that made sense because I knew what they were doing and why, but to an outside person it wouldn’t have made any sense at all. That’s actually something I consider one of my biggest weak points in writing: Sometimes characters make decisions and it seems like it’s just for the plot. The reason is often there, but it’s buried so deep or not explained at all, so it seems random. For example, in the original SC, Celie didn’t slowly come around to Akashi’s worries in the tunnels. Instead, it all came together when they left the tunnel and there was really no reading in the text of her having any doubts up until then. It was very disjointed and sudden. I think posting regularly on Substack has actually helped me improve on this quite a bit. Posting on Substack has generally helped me improve my editing skills as well as just think more critically about my writing and I’m really happy with that!
So as discussed, the story has been expanded a lot, but what else has happened? Well, I’m going to cover some of my reflections, thoughts and feelings in a few separate parts here. Let's start with…
Parts 1-6
For you, the person curious enough about the writing process to read a retrospective, I’ll let you in on a little secret: Parts 7-9 didn’t exist before about a month ago. It’s true, This story ended at part 6, followed by a brief 1 page epilogue that was heavily edited to become what is now part 10. And trust me, part 10 is nothing like what it used to be (we’ll get to that later). So what were the original 6 parts like?
Originally we weren’t actually supposed to know who Akashi was until the very end of the story. He would go by his begrudging nickname, Pace, throughout the entire story. This is sort of a fun idea, but frankly it doesn’t make sense. If you’ve read Children of War, then you know who Akashi is. If you read any of the things that take place after SC (which only one person reading this has), then you know Akashi by his past experiences, so the reveal had very little payoff in the end. I scrapped that idea, instead turning Pace into a begrudging bastardization of his name that Akashi resents. I like this much better, though admittedly I’ve recently questioned if I really do like him sort of shaking away this nickname. I like it as a sort of allegory for self acceptance and recognizing one’s self even in the worst of things, but I’m not sure if I hit the nail on the head or fell short. I’ll leave that to you, the reader, to decide.
SC was so early in Astra’s creation (earlier than The Children of War in fact), that I was still experimenting with what the world actually was. What do I mean by this? Well, for starters, Strala wasn’t the god that the people of Cain worshiped. Instead, they worshiped a vague god of good and light and positivity named Sascha. This felt sort of silly, and too binary for me, so I scrapped it. There also weren’t distinct humanoids so to speak. Those of you who have been following along know there’s three kinds of humanoids in Astra: good old fashioned humans, Children of Oran-Koh, and the Xella. At this point, the children of Koh and Xella weren’t established - in fact, they were kind of the same thing. It’s hard to explain, but they were sort of this vague ‘wouldn’t it be cool if human skin had these amazing diverse magical colors and effects like the galaxy and like a neon night?’ I’m glad to say that they’ve become more specific as you may well know. Instead, I was playing around with this idea of utilizing fantasy-esque humanoids like gnomes or elves or dwarves. In that vein, Celie Green was supposed to be a dwarf-esque roguish character. Some of that is sort of still present in her characterization, but I’m sure it’s clear that was scrapped. Instead, Celie is just a good old magically inclined human.
Speaking of magic, it wasn’t very well defined in the world of Astra yet, so what Celie can do shifted a lot from the original to the current piece. I originally just said ‘oh this person is magic, what sort of magic can they do?’ and worked from there. When I returned to this piece, I said ‘She is magic, and she’s magic because she’s connected to the realm of the ancients. What does that give her? What’s special about the realm of the ancients?’ This gave Celie a sort of ability to conjure elemental items as part of her connection to the most ancient realm. I thought this would make for a more interesting flavor than just ‘ooh magic’ and frankly I’m much happier with her connection. Both to the servant of Rayyan who comes from the same realm as her power, making her able to feel when it arrived in Astra, and her connection to the magic bestowed upon the people of the deserts to protect them from the invasion. Frankly, Celie is one of my favorite characters in Astra, and I feel like this story finally does her justice in a way I fell short of in the past.
I also want to mention Akashi’s characterization in the original versus now. I’m going to be straight up with you: Akashi was an asshole. A monster even. He wasn’t relatable, he didn’t make reasonable decisions. He did horrible things and then felt bad about it, but that wasn’t enough for me. It also didn’t make sense for his character. Akashi doesn’t follow orders well, he gets into trouble, but he has always been well meaning. Someone who doesn’t follow orders but means well wouldn’t do the gory things I originally wrote. Needless to say, he just wasn’t the good guy originally, and I like a story where there’s someone to cheer for.
I really toned down the gore a lot from the original. I’m not saying I have a problem with gore, but I have changed my mind about it. I’d rather leave the level gore up to you, the reader’s mind, and focus instead on the emotional impact of the moment. I don’t need to tell you that a body burst in a shower of blood. Some writers might like to lean on that - and that’s totally fine - but I think it takes away from what I’m personally doing. Reading is like the ultimate theater of the mind. Because of that, I want the reader to picture their own horrors of war to some extent.
Parts 7-9
Okay, this is the behemoth. It may not seem like it, but this was huge for me. For nearly 4 years I have absolutely hated the way this story just ends. I’ve thought about it often, thinking ‘I’ll finish it one day,’ and finally here we are! Keep in mind, originally there was no retrieving the datapad, there was no traveling back through the Calt, no climbing the tower, no standoff with Auntie Gee. Just Celie encased Saquoa in stone in fury, then she and Akashi walked away. Then it cut to the epilogue.
But nothing is ever that simple, right? The good ending doesn’t just happen. These characters needed to come to grips with what they did, how they did it, and what they would do to not only atone, but do what they thought was right. Originally that was all hand waved away, and I could not stand for that. Part 8 especially felt important to me because it was them struggling for survival. It was the point in time where they had to ask themselves if every choice they made up until then was worth it. That was past the point of no return, but was it so far gone that they might choose to go back? That was the point where their lives began to be weighed. Akashi’s moral compass was solidified in that mountain pass and I wanted it to be done through hardship and reflection.
I wanted to show what they’d be willing to do to get the truth out, but I went just short of showing all the social and legal proceedings that would surely follow. Why? Well, I just didn’t think I’d enjoy writing it and I don’t think it’s the story to tell through Akashi’s eyes. He’d recite his testimonial when asked, give his thoughts when asked, but when it came down to making the right legal motions or giving the right speech? Well, he just isn’t that guy. That’s some unnamed lawyer or bureaucrat or something of the Astra equivalent. That’s not what I want to focus on though. That isn’t to say that I wouldn’t in future (though don’t count on it because that just doesn’t sound fun for me), but that’s definitely not this story
That brings up an important thing to remember, a lesson I learned in Astra: One character can’t be everything. If it gets to the point where you have one character doing everything, then why have anyone other than one single person? Why not have a story about an all powerful god playing in a sandbox? Akashi isn’t an all powerful god. In fact, he’s kind of a mess. From the beginning, the point of Akashi as a character is he is one half a whole. Sometimes that other half is Ollen. Sometimes it’s Rae-Lynd. Sometimes it’s Celie. The point is, he isn’t always able to do everything. Instead, he relies on others and is imperfect. That was the point of this story originally: To show how imperfect Akashi is. He tries to do the right thing, but he just isn’t always certain of what he’s doing. Showing how Celie uplifts him and he uplifts her as they struggle through the second half of this story is so important. Akashi was my character to teach me this lesson. Characters can’t do everything and in my opinion, the best characters are the ones who need help and can’t do everything alone. That’s what makes them powerful: Doing amazing things, but not alone.
Part 10
So what’s there to say about part 10? Well, first off: Who the hell is Providence Monroe? Gosh, I wish I could say, but there’s literally an entire book asking and answering that question sitting on my computer desktop, so get back to me on that in a uh… in a while. Consider her an important side character for now. I think my biggest regret so far is how rushed her entry felt. Her entrance is better in the final draft than the original, but it’s just not quite what I’m after. Maybe one day I’ll revisit this again and finally get it right, but for now I think her entrance is enough.
What about the rest of the end? Well, the original used to be Celie and Akashi sitting in a bar and swooped away by Monroe to leave. That was it. That was all of part 10. I must say, part 10 is much much better than the original that fits on a single page. And it fits Celie and Akashi much better. I wanted to show that even though the collective had joined with the people in the desert, that didn’t mean what happened would be forgotten. Instead, the happy ending wasn’t all that happy. Akashi wants to get away, Celie wants to put her head down and get through it, but instead an opportunity falls on their laps. Akashi feeling above the work available to him felt right for him and Celie willing to just do what needed to be done also felt right. The relationship they developed and established all the way through the story culminating with them sitting in a living room together griping and complaining felt perfect.
Speaking of: Paradia. The utopian city on the hill. The first named city in the world of Astra. Weird, right? Paradia is my second favorite city in Astra (I absolutely love Euco, I don’t know why, but the fictional city that I made up just has my whole heart), but it is the most defined city in Astra as of now. I am excited because Paradia is a much more diverse and interesting place than Cain, and I can’t wait to show you the megacity in all of its glory. It's interesting actually, I’ve been itching to write stories with the children of Koh and Xella in them. I need my little sunkissed and cosmic humanoids floating around in my stories. Akashi doesn’t have much experience with these special god-chosen people, so that should be interesting.
So did I stick the landing? Honestly I’m not sure. I was full of doubt posting the final part. I hadn’t been that nervous about a post since the very early posts I made. The outpouring of positive reviews and comments absolutely warmed my heart and made me feel like I stuck the landing, and for now I think that’s enough for me. In the end, I’m so glad with how this went so whether I stuck the landing or not, I am grateful for all the support. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for making this first post long term serial successful.
SC perfectly sets up Akashi for where he is at the beginning of The End. Wow, I bet some of you forgot about the apocalyptic event of Astra, but don’t worry I didn’t. It’s still coming, and if anything it’s closer than it’s ever been. Exciting, right? I cannot wait to jump into it, but before I do, there’s so much to cover first…
What’s next?
So what is next on my little substack? Well, a few things actually!
I’m still working on (mostly just thinking really hard about) The Dragon Mother’s Chosen. This is a sort of cosmic horror in the world of Astra. Turns out that’s really hard to pull off as I started it, hated it, then sat with it for a long time. I think I found what I want for it though, so eventually that will be coming.
An upcoming horror short story that I originally wrote for the Macabre Monday writing contest, but I’m pretty sure that was canceled (I can confirm since writing this that it has been canceled), and frankly I’m okay with that because I’ve learned that I don’t really like contests. I’ve always been a big collaboration over competition kind of person. I’m looking forward to that story because it’s just the right kind of weird for me - I love a bit of strangeness and surrealism in my horror after all.
Marrow Chronicle, a not-so-regular episodic surrealist horror that tells the story of a reporter in a small town with strange happenings and even stranger people should be having its first episode dropping relatively soon. That will definitely be a fun time so stay tuned for that!
A sort of epilogue to the Trial of Isolation that will bridge the gap between this ancient story and the modern day Astra is coming soon. Soon I will be making a post saying “Hey, coming up will be a story connected to this story so maybe have a look if you’re interested in the upcoming post!”
I’m wondering if I should make a timeline? It’s so clear in my mind, but I don’t want to confuse people. Maybe I’ll just let it speak for itself for now
I’ve had an idea for the next part of Akashi’s story that will be written from scratch, but from Celie’s perspective! This will actually have a lot of tie-ins to the novel in Astra that I wrote last year, but it also tells Akashi and Celie’s story in Paradia and what sort of nonsense they get up to as Peacekeepers in Paradia.
Soon I will be introducing the original main story of Astra. Akashi and a mystery second character will be at the center of this story, but that’s all I’ll say for now. It’s a collection of short stories, but I’m wondering how I’ll go about it in my weekly posts. I have time to think about it so we will certainly see. We are getting to a point where it feels on the horizon and I am both excited and nervous!
I also want to do more sci-fi IRL discussions. I will be attending the society for neuroscience conference (SFN) in October this year and I definitely want to do a sort of ‘here’s some cool stuff I saw at the conference’ sort of post as well as more sci-fi IRL chats on here in future (I really want to talk about glia soon). So, lots and lots and lots.
Lastly, in all this nonsense, I’m going to finalize a third draft of Corruption (The working title of my Astra novel). Am I going to publish it independently? Am I going to publish it traditionally? Episodically? At all? I don’t know! Stay tuned to find out. That will definitely be very very long term though.
As you can see, there’s so much going on over here! Hopefully not too much! So stick around, and hopefully I’ll get my nonsense in order enough to keep things going in a fun and interesting way. In the meantime, let me know what you think about some of my reflections. Is there anything you’re curious about or anything you want to build upon in my reflections here? Leave a comment! I’d love to chat things over.
Bonus chapter…
BUT before I go… let me leave you with a little teaser on Akashi’s story. Think of it as a little after credit like a Marvel movie or something…
Eternity.
The darkness of the mortal realm wrapped around her ethereal body as she coalesced into existence with a crash of thunder and a roil of clouds high above the sky.
“Back again.” The being announced with a great sigh that could’ve shaken Astra itself had she not been suspended high above the planet. So high she touched space with her fingers as she ran them along the sky. She looked down on the world of Astra and smiled. “Mortals having mortal problems, doing mortal things. Beautiful isn’t it?”
Vibrant, beautiful lights coalesced around the being. She smiled as the Fates joined her in the sky, looking down upon the world. They began to buzz, vibrate, and hum. Such noises would drive a mortal mind to madness, eating at their brains, their auditory system unable to adjust to the divine sound. Instead, the woman laughed.
“You don’t say, ladies?” They certainly weren’t ladies - if they were anything at all, maybe they might be ladies - she liked to call them such. “Well, I for one like him. He’s just brave enough to be foolish. And just foolish enough to toy with.”
They buzzed in response and the Fates began to fluctuate in color, pulsating, glowing, trading colors amongst each other. The ethereal being’s contorted in harmony with each other.
“Is that right? That dastardly void fiend. And you think this one will matter?” She gestured to Astra below.
They dimmed in response. She hummed in thought and tapped her heel against the sky.
“We have time, though. Maybe I can talk to him - to the others about him. We must put the fool in place before he tears the realms apart… or brings them together.”
The Fates buzzed in disagreement.
“Fine fine…” She flicked her hand and it began to rain far below her in the northeast of Astra. “Keep an eye on this one for me, ladies. I’ll speak to the Void Fiend - whether you think it’ll make a difference. The tyrant can be reasoned with, he’s one of us after all. And if not, the Five will keep him in check. Of that I’m sure.”
As quickly as the group of ethereal beings appeared, they disappeared in a great storm cloud filled with leaping lightning.
Somewhere, far below, Peacekeeper Akashi Pacè looked up at the oncoming storm and smiled, thinking about how far away from the dark reality of the Calt he truly was. He leaned on a moss covered building bathed in neon lights and drank in the rain, his blue and gold uniform getting drenched. The Fates shined brighter than normal that night. He wasn’t sure why, but he knew he was experiencing a beautiful moment in time.
Though he would never know the moment was just for him.
Thank you again and I’ll catch you next week!
You absolutely stuck the landing in Part 10!
So interesting to read about the process of how Astra developed. I'm glad you went for the beautiful colour-changing skin for the Children of Oran-Koh and the Xella, rather than going for the old elf/dwarf/human setup. It's one of the things that makes Astra stand out. Looking forward to what's next!
Also might literally take you up on writing about a god in a sandbox