7 Comments

I really loved this ending, after the climactic scene with the railway disaster and the little boy, Ollen/Navia/Ophee redeeming her mysterious powers. Beautiful.

Expand full comment

Powerful use of names here, well done. Ling's short "O-" early on served as a great setup, it made his daughter's name reveal that much more impactful. The other standout instance was the switch from Navia back to Ollen. Absolute perfect moment for it.

Expand full comment

Thank you! I had a lot of fun with the names -that was probably the most fun thing about this story actually!

So glad you enjoyed it, thank you!

Expand full comment

YOU HAVE ME TEARING UP OVER HERE WITH THAT ENDING 😭

Expand full comment

Perfect! Then I did what I set out to do

Expand full comment

good then 😭😭😭 gonna go sob I mean appreciate your good writing

Expand full comment

I'm so glad you enjoyed it! It looks like I will be doing a retrospective (given no one has said no since I last checked) and as weird as it sounds, I'm looking forward to talking about how this ending almost didn't happen! So many things were different in the second half of this story and I am so glad I decided to flip the entire thing on its head. Stay tuned to hear about how the redemption almost didn't happen and more...

Expand full comment