The Children of War Pt. 3

After the harrowing events in the garden, Akashi passes out. He comes to with a foggy memory of the previous night's harrowing events...

Hi everyone! Before jumping into this, here’s some links to parts 1 and 2. I’ve been super happy with how this story has been received. This is an old one. One of the oldest characters I’ve written in Astra, so thank you for enjoying Akashi’s story. Although we're at the end of this serial, we’ll see more of his story in the weeks to come. For now, maybe check out parts 1 and 2 if you haven’t yet. And if you have , then enjoy part 3…

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Akashi’s eyes opened to the white lights of a hospital room. He couldn’t make out much, but he saw the tall hunched over figure of his aunt near him.

“Auntie Gee…” He whispered.

“Akashi.” She leaned in, concern palpable on her face. “What happened? How did you get here?”

“I don’t know…” His voice felt weak. His head was pounding “I was at the garden and then I -”

“You went to the garden? You were in the garden?” She stared at him aghast.

“Yeah, I - why - how did I get here?”

“I don’t know. The hospital called me early this morning. Listen, I need to know what happened.” His mind began to clear and he suddenly realized why she was horrified. He remembered the bodies. What Ollen did. 

“I - I was attacked.”

“Attacked? Attacked by whoever killed the vandals?”

“No. The vandals had a gun - I - no - I can’t remember. They were trying to summon Navia and Cairo” Panshin rested her head on her hands. She looked flustered.

“No. No they weren’t. Just a couple of teenagers trying to scare everyone with old summoning signs that they weren’t even making right. They were found encased in stone. They were just a couple in their late teens stirring up a panic for fun. Do you know anything about that?” Akashi felt his world spinning. Just a couple of teenagers stirring up a panic for fun?

“They were just like me...”

“What do you mean?”

“Kids who get into trouble in the city - left behind. They were just children of war causing trouble… feeling their pain together. They were just like us.”

“You think they did it because they were in pain?” Panshin stared at him with a confused blank face.

He put his hand to his forehead and felt the gauze wrapped around his skull. “I shouldn’t have been at the garden. I’m not a detective.” He shook his head and it throbbed as it bobbed from side to side. He grimaced. “Auntie Gee, am I stupid?” Panshin laughed and put her hand on Akashi’s shoulder,

“No, nephew. You’re just idealistic and young. You dream. You are a smart boy. A strong boy. But your mind runs wild. You long for more don’t you? You wanted it to be special. You wanted to be special”

“I thought I could save the city. I thought the gods were going to punish us. The book I read said -”

“The book you read said it was an ancient symbol of gods. You jumped to conclusions. Fantastical idealizations of a child’s mind. Sometimes when we’re trying to understand something, we need to see the whole picture. We can’t see the scariest possibility and act on it. We first must understand that the scariest thing isn’t the only thing. You’ll learn as you grow.” Panshin meant well, but Akashi felt like he was being condescended. He glared at her,

“I’m not a child. I’m 14.”

“You said you were a child of war.”

“It’s just a phrase, I -” Panshin stood up,

“Rest Akashi. I’ll need to ask some questions about your night - how you received your injury and what you saw.” Akashi stared at her, his mind still reeling as he tried to gather his thoughts. She gave his shoulder a tight squeeze and left the room. 

Akashi tried to rest, but his sleep was riddled with horrifying memories and false recollections of death. Ollen’s face. The power and fear she held deep inside herself.

What he saw that night. 

What she did. 

Blood magic? Was that the name for it? She must be a sorcerer. Or a champion or… something. What though? He didn’t know enough about the world outside of Cain to know what it could be. He knew champions were empowered by gods. Sorcerers had a special connection to other planes of existence. What else was there? What could she be? Did a god think fondly of her? Did she have a special connection to another world? 

He remembered the way the strangers spoke to each other. They were afraid. Why’d they have a gun? They knew they had gone too far. Played the game for too long. They thought their only option was to shoot. Akashi wondered if the one named Sen got that gun from a parent out on the front. He remembered when his father sent him a bullet. He was only three years old, but he was beyond excited back then. What if he had sent a gun? Or a knife? What if his father feared for his safety in Cain just as much as he feared being in the Calt? 

“Akashi.” His aunt’s voice jolted him awake. His eyes shot open and he jumped forward. She caught him and gently pushed him back down into the bed. “Nephew, we need to ask you some questions.”

“We?” He focused behind her and saw two officers standing on either side of his hospital door. Between them was a woman. “Lady Lanoreth…”

“Yes. Young man, we need to talk about why you were in the garden on that horrible night.” The head councilor of Cain’s government spoke with a smooth but firm voice that rolled off the tongue of a rehearsed politician. Her brown hair cascaded down past her shoulders. She had slim features with wrinkles around her lips and eyes putting her face into a permanent frown. She stepped forward, resting a hand at the foot of the hospital bed. “Did you see what happened? Who could’ve done this horrible tragedy?”

“We - we were trying to solve the mystery.” He sputtered out.

“We? Who were you with?” Lady Lanoreth asked. He immediately realized his mistake. Panshin raised a hand to her mouth. Horror struck her,

“Ollen. young Ollen. Sergeant Candlen’s kid. Of course she was with you.” Akashi went pale. He wasn’t supposed to say, but Panshin already knew. He made a mistake. “So that’s who dropped you off here. Dammit, why didn’t she stay?”

“I’ve heard stories of Candlen. Stories of his valor. But he’s a ruthless, angry man.” Lady Lanoreth replied. “The last thing she’d want was her father to know she was out.”

“Do we tell him?” Panshin asked.

“Not until we have this all figured out. Akashi,” She focused back on him, “Did you see who killed Sen and TaVi?” His eyes widened,

“That was TaVi? Like, Dao TaVi?” Lady Lanoreth nodded. Akashi gasped, “No… no no no…” His heart was pounding and his head began to hurt as his vision went blurry. TaVi was his sister’s best friend before she left. Before she never came back. How didn’t he recognize his voice? How didn’t he know? How? He felt himself getting sick to his stomach. He lurched forward and vomited off the edge of the bed. Panshin put her hand on his back as he coughed and sobbed through the heaving. 

“Akashi,” Lady Lanoreth began, “what happened to them?” Panshin looked over at her,

“I think he’s had enough for today. We’ll work on it, good Lady.” Lady Lanoreth nodded,

“We’ll talk again soon, young man.” The two officers followed her out of the room. Panshin put her other hand on his shoulder and guided his head into her lap. She held him as he sobbed, an akward hand stroking his hair. Panshin tried to be there for him, but she couldn’t help but ask the one thing on her mind. Something that had been eating at her. Something that felt so wrong, so scandalous. The worst possible outcome, which must not be true, but must be considered. Explored. She whispered to Akashi,

“Did Ollen do this, nephew?” He looked up at her, the tears streaking down his beat-red face. His eyes were bloodshot and his lips were quivering. He didn’t answer. Just stared with horror of the memories crossing his face. She nodded, “You didn’t know.” She guided his head back down, “You didn’t know…”

.

.

.

Weeks had passed. Akashi was still recovering, but he was finally allowed to go out on his own during the day. The gauze was removed, and he covered the scars across his skull with hats and scarves. There was a solemn silence around the garden. People were allowed back in, but there was security everywhere. It was never like that before. It was always safe. People were always trusted to be respectful in the garden. But now? Now there were cameras, guards, and security checkpoints at the arches. That big steel door never came off, and it was locked when the sun went down.

He hadn’t heard anything from Ollen. Akashi didn’t know what to feel or think. He loved her. He adored her. She was his best friend. He began to think about how easily she summoned that magic - or whatever it was. Like she’d done it before. She paid the price of whatever it was with blood. She used his blood. What else could she do?

Akashi walked through the living room on his way back from class. He went into his aunt’s office to greet her, but she was gone. Still at work probably. He opened the door to his room. As it opened wider, it slowly revealed a figure on his bed. A teenage girl dressed in black, her curly hair in a ponytail, and a go bag by the window. Her feet were pulled up to her chest with her arms wrapped around them. She met his gaze and began to speak,

“Astra isn’t just the planet we live on. It’s our dimension. Who we are. Our own little universe. The god’s call it the mortal realm, but Astra is its true name. The child of who we are. I - I can feel it. I know Astra in a way I don’t think anyone else does. I’m… connected to the land.” Akashi didn’t answer. He just stared at her, his mouth agape, his heart pounding. Was she here to kill him too? “Kash, they found out it was me. You know that though, huh?”

“I -”

“I know you didn’t tell. Guess I made it obvious, didn’t I?” Her smile was weak and her eyes were red. She hadn’t slept in days. Ollen tightened her grip around her legs, “Kash, I’m leaving. I’m not staying for a trial. I feel horrible for what I did to those people - especially Sen. I met Sen when we were kids. She probably didn’t recognize me anymore - you know how people grow apart - but she was still ready to shoot me - shoot us.” She stood up and Akashi took an involuntary step back. Pain flashed across her face, “Hey, ya know… that’s fine. I get it.” She sniffled and wiped her nose. “I’m gonna miss you, Ash Kash. You never stopped looking out for me… You always humored my bullshit.” She pulled the bag’s straps up over her shoulders and let out a heavy sigh,

“You know, in another life I -” She shook her head, “Take care of yourself…” She walked towards him. This time he didn’t step away, but he didn’t move either. She squeezed him close and he tried to squeeze back, but his grip felt weak.

“I’ll miss you.” He whispered.

“I’ll miss you too. Don’t know who else will be my pacer.”

“Your pacer?” Akashi laughed a little.

“Yeah, pacer. Like the bird. You were like my little pacer bird. If you were keeping up, then I knew I was going right… without my pacer bird, who knows what I’ll get myself into?” He squeezed her tighter,

“You give me too much credit.”

“Maybe.” 

He wasn’t sure when it had happened, but Ollen was gone. As though in a moment she was whisked away in the night. He wasn’t sure if it was magic or his own mind detaching from the world around him. Akashi felt like he could still feel her arms across his upper back long after she left. He sat on his bed right where she was for hours. He thought about her. About all the signs. About the universe… about what she could be. About what she would always be to him.

Time rushed by. The sun was gone and the moon shimmered overhead. He heard the door open and close. Auntie Gee was home. She knocked softly on the door before coming in and sitting next to him on the bed. They sat in silence a while before she said in a quiet graveled tone,

“I had to convince Lady Lanoreth to not take you in as an accessory today. I told her you were just as clueless as the rest of us. Did I just lie to the head counselor?” Akashi shook his head. “Good.” Panshin looked at an open window in the room. Akashi hadn’t noticed it until her gaze drew his attention. “Did she say goodbye?” Akashi glanced at her, nervous. “Her father reported her missing. Just as I was enroute to take her in. Was she here?” He nodded, resigned to what may come next. Panshin gave a solemn nod back. He couldn’t believe how quiet she was. He thought she’d yell at him, punish him, or worse.

“I remember when you were children. Do you remember how you met?” She asked him. Akashi couldn’t help but smile. Auntie Gee continued, “Two little tots, fighting over whose turn it was to go on the monkey bars next. She gave you a black eye - your first bruise. You were two. I was in charge of watching you that day because your mother was with your sister for something or another and your father had his shift at the factory - before he left, you know. I had to explain to your father that a little girl gave his son a black eye.” She began to chuckle,

“My brother was an easily wounded man. But your mother… she was proud that you didn’t hit her back. You took your time on the monkey bars after that. You bawled your eyes out the entire time, but you made her wait.” Akashi nodded,

“I don’t remember, but I’ve heard the stories.”

“Ah, I suppose you were too young…” Panshin put an arm around him, “You talked about the children left behind from the war in the hospital. Maybe you are one, but Ollen was different. Sometimes when our family comes home - sometimes when we come home - we aren’t who we used to be. I often wonder if it was a blessing your father never came home - but then I feel guilty for ever thinking such horrible things. He was a good man. Ollen’s father never was. The horrors he saw just made him worse. I’d like to think what I saw made me better.” She said with a small smile as she nudged Akashi, trying to lighten the mood. Her tone shifted again and she lowered her head, “If I had evidence to bring him in on, he’d never leave a cell. We all know the stories. We just don’t have the proof. 

But Sen and TaVi… they struggled too. We’re creating generations of broken, damaged children that’ll go out and die in the war one day too. Just like our parents before us. And I’m sorry for that. I wish it was in my control. I wish I could do something - anything. But I can’t… And we all have to go some day.” She rubbed the scar on her arm. Akashi’s eyes widened as the implications of her ramblings dawned on him,

“I have to go one day too, don’t I?” Panshin nodded. Akashi felt heat around his throat. He leaned forward, putting his face in his hands. “Now?”

“No! No… no… not until you have to.” She hugged him and held him close as she thought over the words. “But that’s the trouble with being a child in Cain. We all have to go someday. It’s civic duty. And then we’re not kids anymore, are we?” Akashi nodded. “Akashi, can you promise me no more mischief from here on? Please? Life is hard in Cain. Most of us are barely getting by as is. Just for a moment, for a few more years please be good.” Akashi looked at her. He felt like he’d been outside of himself for days. As though he were a child possessed by the likes of another. The question brought him back to himself for a moment. Just a moment. 

No more mischief? What was mischief? How could he commit it without Ollen? He stared at his aunt for a while and thought about what she said. He thought about the future that lay in front of him. No matter what he did, he’d be sent to his death one day. His life would end. If he acted out, maybe he’d be sent away sooner. If he was good, maybe he’d die when he was 21 rather than 17. If he was really good, maybe he’d die in his 30’s, a decorated officer grappling with the horrors of what he saw. Or maybe he’d live his entire life harrowed by the horrors of the Calt. 

But then he’d die. 

Everyone dies, after all. He took a deep breath as the thoughts floated around his mind, wrapping him in dread.

“Akashi?” She pressed.

“I don’t know.”

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Hey everyone, thanks so much for reading! While this chapter of Akashi’s life is at a close, his story is far from over. Next week I’ll be exploring some other things, but in a couple weeks we’ll see what happens to Akashi a few years later.

Thanks so much for reading! We’re at 94 subscribers, which blows my mind. I know, subscribers aren’t everything, but thinking that even one person in the world wants to read what I have to share is heartwarming, so thank you so much.

Oh, also, back when I hit 20 subscribers I did a Q&A about Astra. If you wanted some more information about the world, maybe go there and see what’s there! Maybe if we hit 100 subscribers I’ll do another one! We’ll see.

Check out this Q&A maybe?

Catch you all next week!