I think the shorter sections work well! But I'll read it regardless. Im not sure if it was just this part specifically, but the pace seemed especially well-done. Good switchups between longer paragraphs and short ones. Also, lots of nice mystery setup. Glad to hear this will be a longer serial.
I like long stories. And feel free to add as much dimension as you want.
What a cliffhanger! Great buildup of tension in the tunnels.. What is Commander Saquoa up to?? Looking forward to the next part!!
I think the shorter sections work well! But I'll read it regardless. Im not sure if it was just this part specifically, but the pace seemed especially well-done. Good switchups between longer paragraphs and short ones. Also, lots of nice mystery setup. Glad to hear this will be a longer serial.
Great pacing (ha). I’m really enjoying this story so far. I especially like the blend of fantasy and sci-fi